Writing Showcase
This page is an overview of my work throughout the course, Writing 39A. I have worked various assignments such as writing mechanics practice, source annotations, and film analysis. These assignments have helped me to follow the course objectives of developing habits for engaged reading and practice communication skills by reading, speaking, and composing different types of media. The close reading practices on McGraw Hill helped me to analyze writings in an organized manner and create habits for “engaged reading.” Creating my own wix site to showcase my work throughout this course has helped me to achieve the course objective of “composing different types of media.”
PLANNING & EXPLORATORY WRITING
4:10 --- Killbourne uses a quote from Rance Crain, the former senior editor of Advertising Age, “only 8% of an ad’s message is received by the conscious mind. The rest is worked and reworked deep within the recesses of the brain” Although individuals may think that advertisements do not affect them, it is actually being received by the subconscious mind.
This is an annotation I made while watching Jean Killbourne’s lecture, Killing Us Softly. I ended up using this quotation in my final essay when referring to the affects of Disney on their audience. This quote helped to support my claim that Disney is more influential than what people think. While watching this lecture I was able to improve my written and digital literacy skills. Since I was watching a video rather than taking notes while reading a piece of text, I was able to grow more comfortable with this type of source.
The Disney film, Beauty and the Beast provides some aspects of gender roles that are in contrast to earlier Disney movies. For example, Belle represents a character of intelligence, bravery, and loyalty. The setting of the movie takes place where women are generalized to be followers and ladylike. However, Belle does not care about these standards and chooses to read books, reject Gaston, and trade places in the dungeon to save her father.
This annotation was for the movie, The Beauty and the Beast. After watching the movie I noted that Belle represented a female character different from earlier Disney Princess films. I used this same concept in my final essay when comparing the films The Little Mermaid and Frozen. The Little Mermaid represents the perspective from an older generation while Frozen represents the ideas from current society. While watching and analyzing the film I focused on the course objective of applying reading skills to various kinds of texts, which in this case would be a video.
PEER REVIEW
The screenshot shows a peer review that I gave to a student’s body paragraph. I highlighted the topic sentence in pink and gave it a rating of 5 out of 10 because although it was concise, it didn't provide the reader with enough information to know what the paragraph was going to be about. I then highlighted the end of the paragraph in blue because they didn't add a secondary source to support their claim. Overall, I think it is important to have a well written topic sentence because it is the first thing readers read when they start a new paragraph.
The screenshot shows a peer review I got in the body paragraphs assignment. The reviewer noted that I did not have a scene analysis in this paragraph. However, I specifically organized my paragraph so that the first body paragraph would be about appearance in The Little Mermaid and frozen. The second paragraph would be about relationships in both films and the third body paragraph would be a compilation of sources other than the film to support the claims made in the earlier paragraphs.
SELF REVIEW
One revision that I noted during the self review assignment was that I needed to replace vague words or phrases. For example, I wrote the “perfect look” in my paragraph when explaining how Disney portrays their female characters. Rather than writing the “perfect look” I thought that I should replace it with an explanation of what the perfect look is since this wordy can be subjective.
Another revision I noted was that I wanted to add more transitions to my body paragraphs in order to create a better flow in my essay. For example, I could use these words when going between an earlier film and a current film. This can help the reader have visual cues of when I am changing the topic and shifting from one idea to another.
REVISION
In the introductory paragraph, I changed my source when stating the definition of social construction in order to get on that would accurately represent the meaning. Dr. Haas noted in my essay that I should refer back to the Sharp and Wade definition from the video we had watched in the earlier weeks. She also noted that I would not need to reference the author by introducing a quotation as it would hold an authoritative tone so I changed it so that the introduction could flow better.
BEFORE
AFTER
Another revision I made was changing the wording in the thesis to make it match more of what I was writing about in the body paragraphs. As I was writing I thought of new ideas and developed them. Therefore, I wanted to change the wording to sound less vague and more specific to the essay.
BEFORE
